The Utterly Thankless Party

It began five days ago. Josiah had called me up, saying that his babymama was gone for the week, and invited everyone to stay while she was gone. He ordered us all to bring alcohol, cigarettes, vapes, weed, and food. It was going to be a wild fucking week.

I was at my smoke spot, twenty miles outside of Kingman in the direction of Meadview. It was just a dirt lot with mountains surrounding it. I’d come out here a few times a week to blast music, and smoke cigarettes.

I then lit my cigarette, turned up the radio, and sped all the way back into town. The desert landscape blurred before me as I sped off through the day. Some cows were even out, and I stopped for fifteen minutes to chase them. It was beautiful.

I first stopped by my house to pick up a handle of vodka I had. It was raspberry flavored, and there was one-fourth of it left. I grabbed my cigarettes, PS5, and some food. And finally, I headed over to Josiah’s for the party.

I busted into the door with the vodka in my hands. Josiah greeted me and we immediately started rolling cigarettes. My friend John was there too, and he was sixteen. The youngest. While we waited for Elliott to arrive, the three of us sat in the basement and smoked cigarettes. We passed the bottle of vodka around and talked.

John kind of reminded me of when I was younger. He was violent, and angry. He told me countless stories of beating people up because they had dissed his girlfriend. I both admired him for it, and was scared at the same time.

“One time, this guy called my girlfriend a slut—and by the time they pulled me off of him, his face was completely bloody.”

“Then there was this one time at the cafeteria where someone pantsed this one guy—and you wanna know what I did? I beat the fuck out of him.

“In elementary school, I’d just go to the office everyday. There was this one time where the principal just looked at me, laughed, and said, “You know what? I’m not even surprised anymore.”” John said with a laugh.

What was so eerie, was how close it was to my own school experience. If I hadn’t got expelled and got my GED at sixteen, I would’ve had way too many fights. I mean, hell, I’d have got expelled anyway. But at least I’d have more stories to tell.

Soon we finished the vodka, and everyone was stumbling around the house. Josiah kicked open the door of the basement, and stood in the kitchen with his arms raised high. “WOOOOO!” He said while stumbling. “It’s amazing what vodka can do!”

Each of us only had, like, two or three shots, but it was hitting hard. Josiah was right, it’s amazing what cheap vodka can do. One second, you’re thinking you just wasted all your money. The next, you’re fighting your friend John for fun, and tripping over things.

We were sitting on the couch completely drunk, when we decided we needed more alcohol. If we really were going to party for five days, we needed more than just three shots of vodka. We began calling everyone we could think of, and every time, they rejected us.

“Wait!” Josiah yelled out.

Our heads turned to Josiah. Oh, and Elliott was there too. “What is it?” I asked.

“Peter! He’s in town! He can get us alcohol!”

“Call him then!” I yelled out. “What the fuck are you waiting for?”

Josiah sniped his phone into his hands, and pressed the keys as fast as possible. As it rang, we all sat in silence, hoping that this would be it. Peter picked up and I bit my nails as Josiah talked to him. I watched Josiah nod as a smile slowly crossed his face, and then he put his phone down.

Josiah leapt from his seat and ran out the door, then he came back and peeked his head through, “Come on! We’re picking him up!”

All four of us ran out the door, and to my car. I unlocked it, and slid into the driver’s seat. Elliott sat in the back, singing songs to himself since he didn’t like the music in my car. (I always played metal and really experimental songs.) Elliott would be the only completely sober one, as he despised drugs and alcohol. By the end of the night, he’d be the one babysitting all of us.

We drove across town, and picked Peter up. He got in the backseat and said, “What’s up guys? You wanna get fucked up? How much money you got?”
I reached into my pockets and pulled out all the cash we had. I put it in his hands and said, “We have fifty bucks. We’re gonna need chasers too.”

Peter nodded, “Alright. Let’s go to Mac’s—It’s on Northern.”

“Is that the cheapest place?” I asked.

Josiah scoffed and said, “Dude. It’s Mac’s. It’s the cheapest.”

“Alright.” I put the car in drive, and accelerated in the night.

It was about a seven minute drive to the liquor store. We parked in the dirt, and Josiah and Peter went inside. They came back with a bucket of 99 Shots, and a case of coca-cola.

“Alright.” Peter said. “Before we go anywhere, I want you all to slam these—then we’ll drive.”

By this point, Elliott was the one driving my car. So, everyone got to slam four shots while Elliott drove, completely sober. And, oh boy, did these shots fucking hit. John nearly puked in my car, I could barely formulate a sentence, and Josiah drunkenly rapped Juice WRLD to himself in the back.

And now, this is where things get hazy. I really don’t remember a lot of this night. The next thing I remember is running up to Josiah’s door, tripping, and completely eating shit on the sidewalk. I ran back to the car, but I don’t know why I ran. The first thing I saw was Peter and Josiah laughing their asses off.

“What, uh, what’re you laughing at?” I asked.

“YOU!” Peter said. He then leaned back and began laughing even harder.

Somehow, we ended up at the house again with Peter’s girlfriend, Elizabeth, and a box of Little Caesar’s pizza. They brought the pizza into Josiah’s room, and for some reason, I followed. I grabbed two more shots from the bucket, and then stumbled while trying to grab a slice of pizza. They took the pizza away from me, and I walked back into the kitchen, defeated.

I downed another shot, and then the next thing I remember is my friend Jeffery showing up at the house with four more people. Then Jeffery put his arm around me, obviously shit-faced, and told me something. But for the life of me, I cannot. Fucking. Remember. What he said to me.

Then, I guess I had too much alcohol, because I ran outside to puke. As soon as I was done, I went back inside and downed another shot. I turned to John and challenged him to a friendly fight.

I threw a punch, and it landed in his chest. He then grabbed me by my neck and pinned me to the counter. I managed to break out of it and landed another punch. But he put me in a chokehold until Peter came to break it up. After all was said and done, I shook hands with John and gave him a fist-bump. Then I ran outside to vomit again.

I must’ve sat outside for quite a while, because at least three people came out to check on me.

The backdoor flung open and Jeffery stepped outside. “Yo bro, you okay?”

“Yeah dude, I am. Just puking a little bit.”

Then I’d blackout again and see John coming out the door. “Payte! You alright?”

“Yeah, dude! I am!”

And then, one last time, I woke up to see Jeffery coming out to check on me. “Payte! Dude! You good?”

“Yeah!” I yelled out.

Then, the final thing I remember is stumbling inside the house and collapsing on the couch, next to where Elliott was sleeping.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up to see Josiah pointing and laughing at me. “Yo, they’re cuddling! John! Get in here!”

“WHAT?” John yelled out.

“PAYTE AND ELLIOTT ARE CUDDLING ON THE COUCH!”

“HANG ON!” John answered. “I’M GONNA TAKE A PICTURE! I’M GONNA TAKE A PICTURE!”

I should’ve got up to move, but I was too fucked up to do anything. So, I just rolled back over and went to sleep.