Hey there! This another excerpt from a Work In Progress called Fugazi! Enjoy!
Okay, Payte. You see what I’m doing here? Do you see? I’m lighting it. But I’m not just lighting it, that’s not how it works. You gotta kind of twirl it around, slowly. Like a cigar, but not really like a cigar. Imagine it’s some ladies clitoris, you gotta be gentle with it.
Don’t listen to the movies on weed, that’s like taking advice from porn. You’ve seen those videos where the guy kind of slaps his dick against the women’s thigh? Yeah, never do that. I tried it once, and the lady just looked at me and said, “What the fuck are you doing?” The reason porn is so hard, is cuz’ they can’t feel shit from regular sex. You see what I’m doing here? Do you see? There’s a difference between reality and the movies.
Most of the time, no one will be there to guide you, you gotta figure this shit out yourself. I mean, just take a look at the world in front of you; does anyone give a fuck about anyone anymore? No, of course not. Your friend’s aren’t really your friends either. They’re just there cuz’ you got something to offer them, whether it’s a car, a television, or some kind of entertainment.
Okay, see? The joint is lit. Now I’m bringing it to my lips. Okay, now this is rolled too tight for me. I usually roll em’ loosely, so you can just kinda sit there and, well, do what you will with it. If you roll em’ too loosely you can feel the saliva of other people on it, and no one wants that. Do you see? Rolling a joint, or a cigarette, I know you roll cigarettes, is an art form. It takes practice. It takes skill. It takes patience. Hell, do you know how long it took me to roll an actually good joint? Three months. It took me three months. I know you use a hand-roller for your cigarettes, but that’s pussy shit.
Just use your fucking hands, it’s slower, but you don’t have to buy films every two-weeks. Yeah, I know the smoke shops in this town suck. This town’s just stuck in the past, man. But, hey, I’ll give you some advice. If you ever leave this town, which, Jesus, I hope you will, never come back. Cuz’ the people who leave and come back, tend to never return.
Okay, see what I’m doing? I’m taking a puff.
Wow, this tastes horrible.
Okay, now I’m taking another puff.
This joint ain’t shit man.
Okay, now I’m passing it to you. See? It’s the age-old hippie rule of puff, puff, pass.
There. You got it.
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