A Quiet Piece of Longing – Thirteen

I was in Salt Lake City, Utah. It was just supposed to be a normal night. I’d go to the bar, have a drink, and then go home alone to my motel. I didn’t need anyone. I didn’t even want anyone. I was content with staying on the side lines, away from the human race.

But this isolation streak would be cut short. I was sitting at the counter, sipping a gin and tonic, when behind me I hear, “Well then, let’s ask that guy over there.” I had no idea who they were talking about and I hoped it wouldn’t be me.

But then they said, “Hey kid! Kid! Come over here!”

I sighed and set my drink down, then walked over. “What’s up?” I saw a fat man in a suit sitting next to three ladies in dresses. I had no idea how he had got so many women by his side. He must’ve been rich too, judging by his suit.

“I got some ladies that need some company for a party I’m hosting. You in or out?”

“I don’t even know your name, man. We’ve never met.”

“Name’s Stephen Zakowski. I’m a businessman and a manufacturer. But that’s not important. Wanna come with to the party?”

The brunette started carressing my arm. “You should come with.”

Here I was. Ten at night in some random city, being invited to tag along with people I didn’t know. But where was the adventurous side of me like so long ago? What had happened to me? “Fine. I’ll come with.”
“Perfect!” He began pointing to the ladies. “That girl’s name is Charlotte, that one’s Anna, and this one?” He said, pointing to the brunette who had a thing for me. “That one’s named Louise. Tight fuck I tell you. Tight fuck!”

I resignedly took a seat at their table. Stephen ordered shots for everyone. Then he passed me a cigarette. He lit it for me and the waiter came around with our drinks. “Drink up!” He said. And I responded by chugging down two of them.

“But wait!” Said Stephen. “That’s not enough.”

“Are you joking? I just took two of them.”

He then leaned in real close. So close I could feel his breathe and smell it too. “Listen, kid, you want some blow?” He returned to sitting. “I know you want some blow. I mean, fuck, doesn’t everyone want blow?”

“I guess.”

He then passed a shot to me. “Then first, you gotta drink up.”

I pushed it away. “How about I just have some coke? Does that sound good?”

He then pushed it towards me again. “No. That’s not good.”

“…”

He couldn’t help but burst into ferocious laughter. “Come on, kid, just have some fucking fun! Either drink that shot or get the hell outta here!”

I let out a lengthy sigh, and downed it. Then Steve passed me the coke to which I sucked up with delight. I then laid back with my head spinning. My entire body felt fuzzy. That shit was strong.

The waiter came around with more shots and we all downed those. Steve rambled on and on about this, “party.” I had no idea what to expect when we arrived. I was just a drifter from out of town. Steve was a rich businessman that had prositutes by his side. And expensive ones, obviously.

By now we were all high and pretty drunk. Anna and Charlotte cuddled up to Steve. They got closer each time he’d give them a dollar. Any closer and they’d be having coitus on the table. Meanwhile, Louise cuddled up to me. She was nice.

“So, are we all ready to leave?” Asked Steve.

Anna giggled and said, “I think I am, at least.”

He then stood up and fixed the buttons on his suit. I followed him out the door and from around the corner, came a limo. The driver stepped out and opened the doors for us.

The driver put the keys in the ignition and we took off down the road. The backseat was spacious. Anna and Charlotte sat next to Steve, even closer now. That’s what alcohol will do to you, I thought. It erases any part of the brain responsible for decision making. It leaves you a monkey. But meanwhile, Louise laid against my shoulder.

“You know kid,” said Stephen. “I’m sixty-four. I don’t got much time left—so I intend to live as fast and as crazy as possible.”

“Do you have kids?”

“Yeah, I do. But they’re lazy fuckers. Don’t even see them. Don’t even talk to them. Don’t need too.”

I cringed. “Well, that sounds rough. I’d hate that.”

Stephen burst out laughing. “It’s no issue for me! More time for myself!”

“You know, you strike me as a man who loves weed.”

“Oh buddy, I love weed. I can sit there and smoke and smoke and smoke!”

“Then how about we cut a deal? I’ll give you an ounce of some premium shit for seventy-five dollars.”

“Seventy-five for an ounce?” Said Steve. “I should throw you out the window for that kinda deal.”

“Oh come on. It’s stronger than the usual ounce. It’s good.”

“How about I just give you seventy-five and you keep the ounce? Since you’re in desperate need of money.”

“Sounds great.”

He reached into his wallet and passed me the money. It would be enough to get me to the next town. In the mean time, I fantasized about more deals and the money I’d make from them. “Hey, how the hell do you make so much money?”

He suddenly grabbed a bag of crystal from his pocket and set it on the seat. “I make and sell crystal meth. You want some?”
I shook my head. “Oh hell no. I’m just a stoner and an alcoholic. Not a crackhead.”

He shrugged. “Oh well, more for me!” I watched as he grabbed a big crystal and smashed it. He formed it into a line and swallowed it up his nose. Then twitched. “God damn…”

I grabbed the joint I had stashed behind my ear and lit it. “Can I have a hit?” Asked Louise.

“I thought you didn’t do drugs.”

“That’s only sometimes. I can handle weed but nothing else.”

I passed it to her. “Ah, you’re clean. Not some raggedy hobo like me.”

She giggled and pressed her hands against my chest. “I don’t think you’re that at all. More like… a silent vagabond.”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not so bad as I think. But I can be a scary monster if I want too.”

“Yeah, right.” She said. “You could be a dick. An asshole. But scary? No way.”

“I’m really that charming, huh? But charming people can be scary.”

“There’s a difference between fake charm and real charm. You’re the latter.”

“Thanks for the compliment. But what’s charming?”

“He looks good. He’s not a pussy. He’s intelligent, knows what to do. And a little vulnerable.”

“And I’m all of those things.”

“Not even close.”

“Are you serious? Really?”

“Completely.”

I kissed her. “Don’t be so sure.”

“We’re here!” Stephen called out. The driver came by and opened all of our doors. I stepped out and found myself at a mansion. I was underdressed, high, and very drunk. I didn’t see myself fitting in at all. But then again, I was too old for such trivial things like that. But I still couldn’t get rid of the feeling.

There was a big stone gate right in front of us. At the bottom, hedges and flowers. In the far distance was a whole villa. A four-story complex painted a chill white. There was probably even a pool in the back. And the gate seemed to wrap around forever. The property had to have been millions of dollars.

A security guard let us through and we walked up to the front door. Meanwhile, I couldn’t tell where I was. I was somewhere outside Salt Lake City, in the boondocks. But this wasn’t a complete wasteland of ghettos and garbage. It was some extremely rich part. But then again, there were no other houses. Where the hell was I?
“Who the hell’s place is this?” I asked.

“Mine.” Steve said.

“Are you serious?”

“Perfectly. I’m a businessman and a manufacturer.”

We walked inside and I was flabbergasted at the sheer wealth. Huge rooms, tall ceilings with gold chandeliers, and wide flatscreens. People in dresses and suits lined the halls and living rooms. They sat on the couches, drinking and smoking. Smoke filled the golden hallways and spaces. Either from weed, cigarettes, or something else.

I couldn’t tell if this party was for rich businessmen, or drug lords. If it was for drug lords, where was all the degeneracy? All I saw was a group of stiff business people conversing. They were fancy. They talked like they had a stick up their ass.

Me and Louise took a seat on the couch. She laid down in her sparkling gold dress and rested her legs on me. Stephen had said he “paid” these ladies. Now I had one of them in my palms. But I was unsure whether it was anything. I decided to expect nothing. Not because I was afraid of getting hurt, though. More so because it just didn’t matter.

“Where the hell are we?” I asked. “I mean, what is this?”

Louise shrugged. “I’m a sex worker. I just go wherever.”

“I had a girlfriend once. She’s a lot like you.”

“Like how?”

“The way you dress, the way you talk—you’e just quieter. Less emotional.”

She suddenly sat up and clasped her hands together. “Listen, are we gonna do anything?”

“Hadn’t thought about it. I was just taking it one second at a time.”

“And so was I. Why hadn’t you thought about it?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think that far ahead. My mind’s never that full. I just exist.”

“That sounds lonely.”

“Kind of. Not really. It just exists as a hum in the background. Like low music.”

Stephen suddenly stood up on a table and clinked his glass together. “Ladies and gentlemen, the people in between, I am here to congratulate you all on how business has been absolutely booming. Everyone here at Cameron Enterprises has truly furthered chemical research and chemical knowledge. In fact, we’ve received a grant of a million dollars to continue this.” Stephen Zakowski. Drug manufacturer. Businessman. Chemical researcher…? “This lovely grant comes to us by way of the federal government.” Wait, now they’re partnering with the government? The hell?

Lousie suddenly reached up and whispered in my ear, “You wanna move upstairs? You don’t have to pay me.”

“Sure.”

Inside the bedroom, I ripped off her dress and clawed at her underwear with my teeth. Utter peace in the white and black painted room. Animalism on the blanketed bed. I cupped her tits and kissed her stomach while inside. It was a contortionist act.

We flipped sides and she rode on top. My hands grasped her shoulders and slid ever so slowly down to her thick thighs wrapped around me. Her moans, my breath. We melded together like a singular being. We were one. And my mind was feeling that way.

She came, and laid next to me. I listened as she regained control over her breath. I studied her naked body. “Would you like to go somewhere with me?” I asked.

“Like where?”

“You know I’m a drifter. I’m on a never-ending road trip. Why don’t you tag along?”

She scoffed. “No. I’m good. My home’s here.”

“Then let’s just enjoy this moment. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.”

She laid on my chest and I puffed on my joint. Even let her have a drag. And I stared up at the black painted ceiling and ran my fingers through her hair. My clothes were tossed to the side and so were her’s. We were both silent, appreciating each other. I knew that it was temporary. As all things are in this life. And that made me sad. There’s some moments you wish could just last forever.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Stephen stood in the doorway. Louise grimaced and laid splayed out on the bed. Revealing everything. “Alright, you two coked up lovebirds. It’s time to go to another bar! This party’s over!”

“Could you at least have given us some more warning?” I said. “Besides, I’m tired.”

“Isaiah, I like you more than I like my children. But don’t take that seriously. Now! Get dressed and come with me to another bar!”
“Fine.” I groaned.

We got our clothes on and headed out for the limo. Inside, Stephen laid out another line of crack. “Again?” I said. “Man, what is so nice about that?”

“Simple. It’s crack.”

“I just don’t get it.”

“Isaiah, can I trust you with something important?”

“Like what?”

“You know that toast I gave? The one about funding from the government?”

“Yeah, I was really wondering about that stuff.”

He did the line and leaned back. Then smiled and hushed his voice. “I’m playing a two-faced game. There is no federal government. There is no ‘million dollars in funding.’ At least according to the IRS. It’s all my money. Sourced, supplied, and created, from the manufacturing of methamphetamine. I simply use this money for research on methamphetamine and other drugs, and it brings in even more money. But I’m advancing scientific research! Who’s to say what I’m doing is bad?”

“You’re like the stereotypical evil capitalist.”

“I am. Literally. I am. It’s all money to me… and uh, the pursuit of knowledge, you know.” He suddenly grabbed his chest. “Ow, got a pain.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just tight.”

He then suddenly collapsed face first on the table. Either dead, or under some sort of stroke. He was brought to the hospital but didn’t make it. At the hospital, I wasn’t sure whether or not to stay. Plus, the ladies had departed. I was alone again. I simply smoked a cigarette outside.

Stephen Zakowski. Drug manufacturer. Drug dealer. Business owner. Chemical researcher. Dead at sixty-four because of a damn heart attack. I’ll remember him.